A 30-year old man is hospitalized with a severe head injury and has to undergo psychological assessment. The psychologist shifts uncomfortably and says gravely, “I’m afraid we have no choice but to perform a brain transplant. We have a 20-year-old female brain at a cost of $2,000 or a 70-year-old male brain for $50,000. I’ll leave you to think about which you’d prefer.”

 

The man thinks smugly how the higher price must prove that even an old male brain is superior to a young female brain. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have $50,000 and he decides he’d better find out if the female brain has any redeeming features. He has his BlackBerry with him and starts researching on the Internet.

The Truth About the Male Brain Versus the Female Brain
He discovers that males have, on average, bigger brains, and that there are some traits that can be attributed more frequently to men and some to women. It seems that men may tend to be better map readers, although they hate to ask for directions; and women perhaps are better at reading body language, although they always fail to understand that men are not mind-readers. He knows the psychologist will be back soon and hurries to check if there is a published psychological assessment verifying male or female superiority. From Samson and Delilah to Brad and Angelina, he finds that although there are certainly differences between men and women, there is no definitive evidence to support superiority of gray matter in either gender.

The Psychologist Returns
The only logical conclusion the man can draw is that the male brain is superior, even though he found no evidence to support this. He makes his decision just as the psychologist returns. “I’ve decided,” he says, “$50,000 is a lot of money, but I must have the superior male brain.” The (female) psychologist smiles wryly. “Whatever gave you that idea?" she asks, “The reason the male brain is more expensive is because it has never been used.”

About the author

Katrina Boydon is a systemizing female with empathizing traits. She is as likely to be found crying over a sad film as balancing her bank account to the last cent.