I come from a long line of witches. My mother had an uncanny knack for knowing exactly what I was planning to do. I remember the time she was actually seated waiting at the bar when I walked in nonchalantly with my new beau. As far as I was concerned she thought I was "studying with a friend." I swear that there was no way she could have known. I lost several hundred "cool" points as a result of that encounter. Said charmer wasn't nearly as interested in an eighteen-year old high school student as he had been in a twenty-something waitress.

The Family Legacy

My grandmother was positively scary. She knew EVERYTHING. None of her grandchildren (thirteen of us) dared to cross her. She once sent me on an errand to purchase some bread. With the penny change I bought myself some candy. Unbelievably, she was outside the store when I walked out clutching the bread and munching on the forbidden fruit. She could also whistle like a thing possessed. Her (black, of course) dog would wander to the other side of town and she'd bring him back with a whistle that could pierce eardrums. My brother has, on occasion, transformed from a successful businessman into a raving demon (and it has NOTHING whatsoever to do with testing out the new beer varieties for his bar and restaurant). Finally, my sister has always had the uncanny ability to self-diagnose (correctly) ailments that afflict her--no matter how obscure or unlikely they are.

The Next Generation

When I became a mom myself I found I had similar powers. These days, I drive my nine-year old mad when I walk in just as she's logging onto Webkinz.com. Even worse (for her) is that I know after the fact that she's been on the Web site (she hasn't figured out the "History" on the browser, yet). My husband can't believe that I always call him at the very moment he decides to pack up work for the day and head out on a bike ride, a rock climbing jaunt or to the bar. To be honest, I'm not quite sure how I do that myself (but I'd never tell him that). And my boss never ceases to be amazed by the apparently magical talent I have of nearly always getting my way (it is NOT nagging).

The Final Frontier

Despite my witchy powers, I didn't quite have what it takes to be the witch of my dreams. I aspired to cause chaos in the lives of innocent victims, but it just didn't happen. All that changed after an Internet search and a little magic. I thought it only fair that I share my inspirational story.

The video above says it all

About the author

Witch Hazel runs her own business, Hex for Checks, from her home in Reno, NV and is available for personal consultations on all aspects of skullduggery, iniquity, and witchcraft. She is one hundred and fifty years old.